Tiny Cock Needs Sucking! HELP!
If any ladies are still up and craving some cock please help me!? Its been 3 years since I had sex or a nice blowjob! I am not the best looking guy or biggest penis either. But good with my tongue and kissing! You come over suck me, If we want to do more then lets do it. Then you leave, if you have time tomorrow or next day come by again! I cant have people stay the night here. ASK ME FOR MY FACE PICS! ALSO IF YOU WANT TO HEAT THINGS UP OR TRY SOMETHING DIFFERENT THERE IS AN ALLEY BY MY HOUSE WE CAN SURE TRY PUBLIC FUCK? PETER
The last time I saw someone blowing on something like that, he was leading mice out of a German village.
Anyway, meet Peter, an Amish man who unfortunately lost his actual penis in an acorn smelting accident. Amish surgeons successfully replaced his penis with a nipple from a cow udder, and now Peter gets an aggressive hand job every time someone in the village wants a fresh bowl of cereal.
Since moving out of the village Peter has been rather horny, and to entice you frisky vixens over to his mom's basement, he proudly presents what at first glance appears to be Burger King's new 1/4inch Chicken Sausage wrapped in a light pork casing. Dip that thing in mustard and coat it with sesame seeds, and you'd have hordes of Chinese kids chasing you down the street with chop sticks.
Unfortunately, Peter's skull still needs to be halved and bored out like a picnic melon if he thinks this fucking pigsty of a personal ad would even attract a horny and blind porn star fresh out of black tar heroin.
If your ideal man resembles a cobwebbed Chia Pet with a bulbous, pale thorax, maybe we might have had a good start. But the dirty, semen-stained Old Navy sweatpants leading to white Wal-Mart socks elegantly matched with a pair of black Crocs doesn't help the cause of penus nonexistus. Women may be up for watching you masturbate on occasion guys, but for the love of Christ, take your fucking socks off. If masturbating makes your toes that cold, you need more blood.
Clean up your rat's nest, and extract that multi-plug outlet. Plug in a vacuum cleaner, a hair trimmer, and a Mogen clamp, which is used in circumcision procedures. Clean that craphole up, trim your abdominal hedges, and clip the tip off that elephant snout. Moisten it with oil, dip it in flour, fry it and serve with garnish and cold milk.
Also, plug in some lights. And for the love of God, turn them the fuck off.