Welcome once again from WWHM Headquarters, located in beautiful downtown Dubuque, Iowa right across from Wing C of Tom's Animal Rendering Plant!
If you don't know how to get here, just exit I-18 at Sequoia Ave, drive three blocks, and turn left once you the hear the blood-curdling screams of 25,000 brutally slaughtered turkeys.
What a week we had! We had a lovely young man who masturbated into his shoes, a pleasant gentleman who wanted the ladies to milk his breasts, followed by an overconfident man-ape and a guy obviously very in touch with his clitoris. Boy, I love it when the Christian Coalition comes into town.
So loyal reader Cut N' Jump came to the offices today because she owed me a green ceiling fan, a jar of capers, and a snow shovel. (Please refer all questions to Cut N Jump.) She's tells me "Oh, ok, but I have to bring the dickhead."
"What, " I asked, "he's not nice to you?"
"No, " she answered, "you'll see when he gets here."
And in comes this guy, and well, he just looks like a dick. Like literally, he just removed his head, and placed the enormous penis tip of a Bering Sea brown whale onto his shoulders. And he's just been sitting in my executive pool all day, siphoning plankton and making sonar noises that frighten my staff.
Cut N' Jump, that's the last time you bring your whale-penised-headed friends over here. My pool smells like fatty sea blubber, and the drain is ass-deep in crab claws.
Have a great fucking weekend WWHM'ers, I'm ouuuttttttttttta here!